How do I help a friend with an alcohol problem?
Dear HOPE,
I think my friend has an alcohol problem, what should I do?
- Want to Help a Friend!
Dear Want to Help a Friend,
It’s great that you’re willing to help your friend. Even if you think your friend doesn’t help, he or she probably does. According to a 2005 survey, 91% of freshmen agree that if their alcohol use caused problems for their friends, they would want their friends to tell them. Also, it may be helpful to know that many students (about three-fourths) are inconvenienced or hurt by others’ drinking choices. But these statistics don’t help you help your friend. Here are some tips: First, you have to recognize that it is a problem. What constitutes a problem?
- Frequently missing class or other academic problems
- Legal/judicial trouble
- Increasing tolerance to alcohol
- Not being able to stop drinking once the person has started
- Experiencing any withdrawal symptoms (like morning shakes or feeling agitated)
- Frequently blacking out or passing out
Once you’ve determined that, it’s time to move to the next step: intervention.
- Choose a quiet, private place to hold a conversation with your friend.
- Approach him or her respectfully
- Make sure that he/she has not been drinking or are not drunk at the time–that would ruin it altogether.
- Voice your concerns to your friend. Use I-statements and specific examples. Try not to argue, and be prepared for defensiveness. Here are some ways to get started:
“I’m concerned about you because . . .”
“I’m worried that . . .” - Finally, have referral sources ready – such as the Health Center or the Counseling Center and their list of resources. Other online resources include Virginia AA and alcoholscreening.org
Remember, you do not have to do this alone and there is a widespread network of people here to help you, including us at HOPE.
- HOPE
