My boyfriend and I are in a committed, monogamous relationship. In that light, do we really need to use a flavored condom and dental dam during oral sex? We know that we don’t any STIs so is there a need?

- Oral Sex Proponent

Dear Oral Sex Proponet,

This is a really great question that covers a bunch of different issues. First, let’s talk about oral sex in general. At William & Mary, about three-quarters of students have had oral sex. It is important to use a barrier during oral sex because, just like during vaginal and anal sex, there is a risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection or STI. STIs are either bacterial or viral. Bacterial STIs (such as gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis) are curable; viral STIs (such as HPV, HIV, herpes, and hepatitis) are incurable. The only way to effectively protect yourself from these infections are barriers such as condoms and dental dams. Flavored condoms are used for oral sex performed on a man and a dental dam is used for oral sex performed on a woman. Flavored condoms can be used to make homemade dental dams. These condoms are available, for free, through the Condoms in CSU program, at the Health Center, and at the FISH Bowl in the Campus Center. (The sweeteners and flavorings used in flavored condoms can promote vaginal and anal infections and/or irritation so they are not recommended for vaginal or anal sex).

From our perspective, even though you are in a committed, monogamous relationship, you should still use a flavored condom/dental dam during oral sex. From the way you phrased your question, it seems that you are sure you and your partner do not have any STIs. The only way to confirm that you and your partner are STI-free is to get a STI test. This is because many symptoms of STIs are not visible despite infection – only a medical test will confirm an infection’s presence. These tests are available on-campus, for free, at the Health Center. All tests are painless and many are needle-free. Click here for more information. Once you know that you’re STI-free, it significantly lowers the risk of giving a STI to your partner. Unlike the reliable results of a test, you can never be 100% sure your partner, or someone you’re hooking up with, is STI-free. Although he or she may say they do not have any STIs or that he or she is completely committed to you, it’s best to be completely sure. From our point-of-view, it is never worth the risk of potentially infecting yourself with a lifelong disease in exchange for a few minutes of temporary pleasure. Therefore, even if you’re in a committed, monogamous relationship, you should still use protection for oral sex.

- HOPE

I’m trying to stop smoking, but it’s really hard. Can you give me a list of resources?

- Ashtray

Dear Ashtray,

It’s great that you’re making the effort to stop smoking – good for you! We promise that although it made me difficult today, it is worth it in the end. We’ve found that one of the most unique way to help yourself quit is to learn about the truth behind tobacco companies’ advertising tactics. Here is also some information on the negative health effects of smoking tobacco and of being exposed to secondhand smoke, as well as resources to aid in quitting effectively.

Deconstructing Media Messages

thetruth.com

Negative Health Effects

Second Hand Smoke: Questions and Answers

Second Hand Smoke, Protect Yourself from the Dangers; Mayo Clinic Site

Health Effects of Exposure to Second Hand Smoke; EPA

Environmental Tobacco Smoke

How to Quit and Stay That Way

How to Quit; CDC

Smoke Free Virginia

Guide to Quitting Smoking; ACS

Good luck! Remember that you can learn more about quitting smoking at the Health Center and the Office of Health Education. Quitting smoking can me physiologically challenging as well. The Counseling Center is another resource available to you on-campus.

- HOPE

I think my friend has an alcohol problem, what should I do?

- Want to Help a Friend!

Dear Want to Help a Friend,

It’s great that you’re willing to help your friend. Even if you think your friend doesn’t help, he or she probably does. According to a 2005 survey, 91% of freshmen agree that if their alcohol use caused problems for their friends, they would want their friends to tell them. Also, it may be helpful to know that many students (about three-fourths) are inconvenienced or hurt by others’ drinking choices. But these statistics don’t help you help your friend. Here are some tips: First, you have to recognize that it is a problem. What constitutes a problem?

• Frequently missing class or other academic problems
• Legal/judicial trouble
• Increasing tolerance to alcohol
• Not being able to stop drinking once the person has started
• Experiencing any withdrawal symptoms (like morning shakes or feeling agitated)
• Frequently blacking out or passing out

Once you’ve determined that, it’s time to move to the next step: intervention.

1. Choose a quiet, private place to hold a conversation with your friend.
2. Approach him or her respectfully
3. Make sure that he/she has not been drinking or are not drunk at the time–that would ruin it altogether.
4. Voice your concerns to your friend. Use I-statements and specific examples. Try not to argue, and be prepared for defensiveness. Here are some ways to get started:
   “I’m concerned about you because . . .”
   “I’m worried that . . .”
5. Finally, have referral sources ready – such as the Health Center or the Counseling Center and their list of resources. Other online resources include Virginia AA and alcoholscreening.org

Remember, you do not have to do this alone and there is a widespread network of people here to help you, including us at HOPE.

- HOPE

I know a lot of people who drink to relieve stress. Can alcohol actually reduce stress?

-  Just Wondering

Dear Just Wondering,

This is a great question. How many times have you heard of students who decide to end a stressful week by going out on Friday and getting as drunk as possible? Unfortunately, many college students think that one of the best and maybe only ways to relieve stress is through the unhealthy consumption of alcohol. Contrary to popular belief however, alcohol fails to reduce stress among individuals, and actually can increase or lead to stress in the future.

Many studies have been conducted on the relationship between alcohol and stress levels in the body. Although many people believe that alcohol is a stress reducer, it has actually been shown to increase the amount of stress a person feels. A connection has been made between alcohol consumption and an increase in the production of cortisol which causes symptoms of stress to occur.

Stress has also been shown to affect other areas of alcohol use. Stress can affect a person’s initial consumption of alcohol, the initiation of treatment of alcohol problems, and a person’s chance of relapse of alcoholism. Stress also has been linked to binge drinking among college students.

In turn, alcohol’s effects on a person’s functioning can be a cause of stress in an individual. It has been proven that after consuming alcohol, people have a harder time transferring short term memory into long term memory. Information learned in class the week before heavy drinking then becomes harder to recall resulting in trouble come exam time. Also, a person’s attention span can be shortened within two days of consuming alcohol. Partying all weekend can make Monday mornings even harder than they already are. Finally sleep cycles are interrupted after consuming alcohol so even though one may receive a full night’s sleep, he or she will not feel rested the next morning.

In addition to the specific effects of alcohol on mental health, a night of alcohol consumption can result in sickness, exhaustion, and frustration which can affect a person’s function for several days to follow. Instead of partying all night and feeling useless the next day, one could watch a movie or go out to dinner with friends. Both activities will relieve stress with the latter enabling increased productivity the following days.

The assumption that on a college campus the only way to relieve stress is to go out on weekend consuming alcohol is completely false. Many other alternatives can be found that are more beneficial to your physical and mental health and can increase your performance in all other areas of your life. Hopefully this website will provide you with a few healthy ways to relieve stress and relax.

For a complete list of ways to healthfully reduce stress, click here.

-  HOPE

What the best ways to drink safely?

- Wanna Have Fun

Dear Wanna Have Fun,

As your pseudonym suggests, you “wanna have fun.” We at HOPE believes that’s great! We want you to have fun too. As you know, there is a responsible and safe way to have fun.

We at HOPE strive to encourage William & Mary students to proactive themselves from the negative consequences of alcohol by using effective risk-reducing strategies like:

• Designate a driver who remains sober
• Eat before and during drinking
• Keep track of drinks
• Set a limit and stick to it
• Avoid drinking games
• Alternate alcoholic beverages with non-alcoholic ones (like water)
• Have a friend tell you if/when you’ve had enough
• Pace drinks to one or fewer per hour
• You can always CHOOSE NOT TO DRINK!

Here’s a video we made that basically summarizes all of this up.

It should be noted that we in no way encourages underage students to drink alcohol and reminds those under the age of 21 that alcohol is illegal to consume, purchase or posses in the state of Virginia. Also, drinking and driving is both illegal and hazardous at any age.

Be safe!

- HOPE

I just found out that my brother is schizophrenic. I honestly have no idea what that means, can you tell me everything you can about schizophrenia?

- In Need of Help

Dear In Need of Help,

Schhizophrenia is a mental health disorder that affects 1% of Americans. Currently, we do not know the cause of schizophrenia. Hearing voices or believing that others are reading their minds, controlling their thoughts, or plotting to harm them, characterizes the disorder. These experiences can cause fear, withdrawal, and agitation.

Those who suffer may not make sense when they talk, may not talk for hours, or may seem fine until they talk about what they are really thinking. They may have difficulty holding a job and caring of themselves.

Schizophrenia is characterized by positive symptoms, negative symptoms, and cognitive symptoms. Positive symptoms include hallucinations, delusions, and disorders of movement. Negative symptoms include a decrease in the ability to speak, express emotion, or find pleasure in everyday life. Cognitive symptoms include problems with attention, memory, and functions involved with planning and organizing.

Usually, treatment focuses on eliminating symptoms of the disease by use of antipsychotic medication.

Remember, meeting the professionals at the Counseling Center or the Health Center is the best option for you. To make an appointment for the Counseling Center, call (757) 221-3620 or stopping by their office: Blow 240. Their hours of operation are Monday – Friday 8:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m., 1:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m. Click here to learn about appointments at the Counseling Center work. To make an appointment with the Health Center, call (757) 221-2998. Click here to learn about how appointments work at the Health Center.

- HOPE

About a year ago something somewhat traumatic happened to me and I can’t seem to shake it off. I think I may be suffering from PTSD, can you tell me more about that?

- Still Thinking About It

Dear Still Thinking About it,

PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is an anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to a traumatic or stressful event, such as rape, natural or human-caused disasters, accidents, or military combat. Although we at HOPE cannot diagnosis PTSD, we can definitely tell you more about it.

• Symptoms include flashback memories, nightmares, sleep disturbances, depression, anxiety, irritability, or outbursts of anger.
• About 5.2 million people have PTSD over the course of a given year.
• Can develop at any age and symptoms typically begin within 3 months of a traumatic event.
• Severity and duration vary from 6 months to many years.
• Treatment includes medication, cognitive-behavioral therapy, group therapy, and exposure therapy.

Remember, meeting the professionals at the Counseling Center or the Health Center is the best option for you. To make an appointment for the Counseling Center, call (757) 221-3620 or stopping by their office: Blow 240. Their hours of operation are Monday – Friday 8:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m., 1:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m. Click here to learn about appointments at the Counseling Center work. To make an appointment with the Health Center, call (757) 221-2998. Click here to learn about how appointments work at the Health Center.

- HOPE

I used to never have panic attacks but ever since I got college, I have had at least three. Do you think these are random events or do I have a real problem?

- Panicky

Dear Panicky,

Although we at HOPE cannot officially diagnosis anything, we can tell you more about panic attacks and panic disorder.

• Characterized by repeated episodes of intense fear accompanied with chest pain, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, or dizziness.
• Anxiety can develop between episodes and people may avoid situations where they have previously had a panic attack
• Can develop phobias about places or situations where panic attacks have occurred.
• Approximately 2.4 million Americans suffer.
• Women are twice as likely to develop panic disorder.
• Heredity, other biological factors and stressful life events are thought to lead to Panic Disorder.
• Treatments include medications and cognitive-behavioral therapy.

Remember, meeting the professionals at the Counseling Center or the Health Center is the best option for you. To make an appointment for the Counseling Center, call (757) 221-3620 or stopping by their office: Blow 240. Their hours of operation are Monday – Friday 8:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m., 1:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m. Click here to learn about appointments at the Counseling Center work. To make an appointment with the Health Center, call (757) 221-2998. Click here to learn about how appointments work at the Health Center.

- HOPE

I’m super neat so people always say I have OCD as a joke. I’m starting to worry that I actually do have OCD. Can you tell me more about OCD?

- Obsessive Compulsive Confused

Dear Obsessive Compulsive Confused,

Although we at HOPE cannot officially diagnosis anything, we can tell you more about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or OCD.

• Characterized by recurrent, unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and rituals (compulsions), which are uncontrollable.
• Rituals include hand washing, counting, checking, or cleaning.
• Not performing the rituals increases anxiety.
• Left untreated, the disease can take over a person’s life.
• Approximately 3.3 million Americans have OCD in a given year.
• OCD is thought to be caused by abnormal functioning of brain circuitry and is not caused by environmental factors.
• Treated with medications, behavioral therapy, and exposure and response prevention.

Remember, meeting the professionals at the Counseling Center or the Health Center is the best option for you. To make an appointment for the Counseling Center, call (757) 221-3620 or stopping by their office: Blow 240. Their hours of operation are Monday – Friday 8:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m., 1:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m. Click here to learn about appointments at the Counseling Center work. To make an appointment with the Health Center, call (757) 221-2998. Click here to learn about how appointments work at the Health Center.

- HOPE

I feel like I’m anxious all the time. My friend told me I may have General Anxiety Disorder. What is this?

-      Anxious About Anxiety

Dear Anxious About Anxiety,

Although we at HOPE cannot officially diagnosis anything, we can tell you more about General Anxiety Disorder or GAD.

• GAD is characterized by chronic, exaggerated worry that is more severe than normal for around 6 months or more
• People may experience excessive worry about money, health, family or work, even when there are no signs of trouble.
• People with GAD suffer from insomnia and are unable to relax.
• Physical symptoms include fatigue, trembling, muscle tension, headaches, irritability, or hot flashes.
• 6.8 million Americans suffer from GAD
• Causes – may run in families and may grow worse during stress. GAD usually begins at an early age and symptoms may appear more slowly than in other anxiety disorders.
• Treatment – medication and therapy

Remember, meeting the professionals at the Counseling Center or the Health Center is the best option for you. To make an appointment for the Counseling Center, call (757) 221-3620 or stopping by their office: Blow 240. Their hours of operation are Monday – Friday 8:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m., 1:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m. Click here to learn about appointments at the Counseling Center work. To make an appointment with the Health Center, call (757) 221-2998. Click here to learn about how appointments work at the Health Center.

- HOPE

I think I am bipolar. What are the symptoms of bipolar disorder?

- Possibly Bipolar

Dear Possibly Bipolar,

The best way to evaluate your concern about your mental health is to visit the Counseling Center or the Health Center. They can provide you with an official diagnosis. In the mean time, here is a brief summary of bipolar disorder.

• Brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in a person’s mood, energy, and ability to function.
• Can result in damaged relationships, poor job or school performance, and even suicide.
• Characterized by extreme episodes of mania and depression. Symptoms of manic episodes include increased energy, restlessness, irritability, lack of concentration, unrealistic belief in one’s abilities and powers, and little sleep needed. Symptoms of depressive episodes include sad or anxious mood, feelings of hopelessness, pessimism, decreased energy, change in appetite, loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed.
• 5.7 million American adults suffer from Bipolar Disorder
• Bipolar Disorder usually develops late in adolescence or early in adulthood.
• Runs in families, but other factors contribute as well.
• Treated with medication and therapy.

For more information: Going to Extremes: Bipolar Disorder from the National Institute of Mental Health.

Remember, meeting the professionals at the Counseling Center or the Health Center is the best option for you. To make an appointment for the Counseling Center, call (757) 221-3620 or stopping by their office: Blow 240. Their hours of operation are Monday – Friday 8:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m., 1:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m. Click here to learn about appointments at the Counseling Center work. To make an appointment with the Health Center, call (757) 221-2998. Click here to learn about how appointments work at the Health Center.

- HOPE

I’m pretty sure my girlfriend is depressed, but I can’t really tell. I’ve had guy friends who suffered from depression, but my girlfriend seems to exhibit different symptoms. Is this normal – do girls and guys experience depression differently?

- Concerned

Dear Concerned,

As you seem to know, depression is a serious mental illness that affects both men and women. So it’s great that you’re concerned about your girlfriend. Recent research suggests, however, that men and women are affected differently and as a result can have different symptoms.

Depression in Women:

Women from all backgrounds and from all around the world suffer from depression. For common depression, twice as many women are diagnosed with the illness than men. This ratio is the same in 10 countries. In fact, in the United States, it is estimated that 12% of all women (over 12 million women) suffer from depression in one year. Researchers are studying a variety of factors to determine their relationship to depression. Some of these include hormonal, reproductive and other biological factors, abuse, oppression, and others. There is also research being done studying the problems of treatment during pregnancy and the postpartum period.

More information: Depression: What Every Woman Should Know from the National Institute of Health

Depression in Men:

Although more women are diagnosed with depression, more than 6 million men in America alone have depression each year. Many times depression goes unrecognized in men because men often suffer from different symptoms than women. For instance, men more often experience the physical symptoms of depression such as feeling tired, headaches, and digestive problems, and are more likely be angry and irritable than report feeling down or sad. Because these symptoms aren’t very emotional (the commonly recognized symptoms of depression), they can be over looked, even by doctors. In addition to other symptoms of depression, some more symptoms that more often are experienced by men include:

• Decreased energy, fatigue; feeling “slowed down.”
• Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions.
• Trouble sleeping, early morning awakening, or oversleeping.
• Changes in appetite and/or weight.
• Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts.
• Restlessness or irritability.
• Persistent physical symptoms, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain that do not respond to routine treatment.

Men are also less likely to seek medical help for all types of health problems because of the social pressures to be tough, unemotional, and in control. If left untreated, depression can lead to devastating results. In fact, 80% of successful suicides are men. Medication along with short-term psychotherapies can usually help with depression, but first it has to be recognized. Doctors are now understanding the different depression symptoms that men experience from women, but men also have to acknowledge these and seek help when in need.

More information: Real Men, Real Depression from the National Institute of Mental Health

Remember the list of resources from the Counseling Center available to both you and your girlfriend. If you or she is in a state of emergency, call 911.

- HOPE

I think my friend is depressed and I don’t know how to help her. Can you please help me help her?

- Help Me Help Her

Dear Help Me Help Her,

The most important part of helping your friend is learning about the symptoms of depression. While experiencing some of these symptoms some of the time is normal, symptoms lasting two weeks or changes in daily functioning are causes for concern. Any thoughts of suicide or suicide attempts are cause for immediate concern.

The symptoms are:

• Sadness, anxiety, or empty feelings
• Decreased energy, fatigue, being slowed down
• Loss of interest or pleasure in usual activities
• Sleep disturbances (insomnia, oversleeping, or waking much earlier than usual)
• Appetite and weight changes (either loss or gain)
• Feelings of hopelessness, guilt, and worthlessness
• Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts
• Difficulty concentrating, making decisions, or remembering
• Irritability or excessive crying
• Chronic aches and pains not explained by another physical condition

Here is a complete list of on-campus resources available to you, as a concerned friend, and your friend, as a depressed person.

• Your RA
• Campus Police: 221-4596
• Counseling Center: 221-3620
• Health Center, Appointments: 221-2998
• Dean of Students Office: 221-2510

Good luck with your friend. Remember, if there is an emergency call 911.

-  HOPE

I’m getting about eight hours of sleep every night, but the quality of sleep isn’t that great. I find my mind wandering and I usually don’t fall asleep until an hour or so after I get in bed. Can you give me some tips on how I can improve the quality of my sleep?

- Low Quality Sleeper

Dear Low Quality Sleeper,

It’s great that you’re setting time aside for sleep! It is so important to get seven to nine hours of sleep per night.

Here are some suggestiosn for increasing the amount and quality of your sleep!

Hopefully these will help!

- HOPE

Can you please explain to me how more sleep improves grades? I know a lot of people who seem to pull all-nighters before an exam and they’re fine. Yet, you guys keep telling me that that’s not the case.

- All-Nighter Activist

Dear All-Nighter Activist,

It is true that getting seven to nine hours of sleep can result in higher grades. An all-nighter is academically detrimental. According to a 2005 National College Health Assessment survey, almost a quarter of William & Mary students reported receiving a lower grade as a result of sleep difficulties. Much evidence exists that sleep dramatically impacts cognitive abilities. It is during sleep that memories are consolidated and that the brain’s capabilities are renewed. Without adequate sleep we experience decreased attention span, reduced ability to concentrate or make decisions, and increased probability of committing errors.

When learning new information, especially in large amounts, the brain desperately needs rest time. When cramming for an exam a person would be better served to sleep for two or three hours instead of trying to pull an all-nighter.

– HOPE